And I said, "This is my anguish; But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High." I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, And talk of Your deeds.
Psalm 77:10-12
There is a good bit brewing in our adoption process. Our dossier was submitted to the SNA on Wednesday of last week. Now we wait. We wait to hear the response of the Peruvian governing authority over adoption.
I have a conference call meeting on Monday with our agency. There is an important issue on the table to be discussed. This will determine what direction we are going in our adoption. As I was so anxious and fearful this morning when I awoke and began thinking about this meeting, and what I might find out...God led me straight to Psalm 77. To say I have not had fears along this road, would be a lie. I could say that I have been fearless and brave- I could say how confident I have felt. But the truth is- even knowing the calling God has for us, there have still been so many times that I have been shaking in my boots.
This morning God took me on a journey of remembrance of all He has done for us.
Our adoption journey has been challenging to our faith, as any adoption is. But as far as red tape and delays are concerned- we have had none. That in itself blows me away. Everything has gone very smoothly, with no problems or difficulties. I have no explanation for that, but I am beyond thankful. We have prayed for specific dates and situations and have seen those come to pass. It has been nothing short of miraculous to be a part of. Had this journey been met with lots of opposition, it would not have changed our calling- but I am left wondering why everything has gone by so quickly and easily. I hear almost every week about people I hardly know, if know at all, that are continually praying about our adoption. (Along with all of those friends of ours who I know well, who are crying out to the Lord on our behalf) This is so humbling. I thank my God for your love towards our family.
As I remembered this morning:
I was reminded of how scared I was when a social worker had to come into our home and interview us, and our children. I can remember how I thought everything had gone awful with our responses in the interviews...but then everything turned out fine. I can remember how fearful I was that our background checks would take a long time to come back- they didn't. I can remember how scared I was that something would go wrong with all of our health physicals the first time- and then the second time. There was no problem. I can remember waiting and being afraid something would go wrong with our USCIS approval. Nothing did. I can remember going to see a psychologist and being very scared! I can remember being scared for how my children would behave in their interview (namely my 2 year old who had been on a rampage for months). I can remember my shock, though, watching them march down the hallway like three perfect gentlemen, and hearing of how mannerly they sat in a row on the couch answering the psychologist's questions. I can remember combating the fear that our dossier translation time would take forever- and praying for the opposite- it didn't.
I cannot deny the fears I have battled along this road. I have done my best to turn those fears around and stand in faith. Sometimes I have felt victorious- others, weak and broken.
Why is it the human tendency to doubt God's faithfulness? We don't often call it that, outright, but when we aren't trusting God that is exactly what we are doing. He has taken us on an amazing ride- and never left us! He has taken care of EVERYTHING!! This morning He has given me great joy and peace. He has turned my anxieties into rejoicing. I will continually remember His wonderful works and blessings. I will not be afraid of what is to come. Our Lord will go before us. We desire His perfect plans. Would He take us this far and then leave us hanging? No way. We are trusting Him.
4 comments:
We doubt because we are human. Sounds like my journey with Shelbi's Selective Mutism. "I know God promised to deliever her, but should we medicate? Should we try counseling? How long is this going to take?" Now look! She is being called into the ministry and will be sharing how He delivered her~ in His time! How awesome is that?!
When the Princess arrives, we'll forget all about the doubts. :)
Love y'all!
This is how I felt the entire way through the process, from start to finish. Praying that God would make a way and make it quickly and secretly fearful that He wouldn't. While I wavered in my faithfulness; He did not! He accomplished it all as was His original plan. Do you think there is any chance I can remember this...this time around??
God has the perfect child for you in the perfect time! He knows exactly who it is and when she will come home. He doesn't have doubts in you, or He wouldn't have called you to this. He has chosen your entire family for her, and He will bring to completion the good work He has started. :) Be encouraged that every day is one day closer to her being home.
Thank you all so much for the encouragement. Penny- Shelby is a miracle and it has been awesome to watch! Praise God that He is faithful, even when I am not. Paige, maybe a second adoption is similar to a second pregnancy, in that you don't worry as much over every kick, etc. :) it would be nice to be a little more relaxed, eh? I have never thought of God's calling in the way you described it, Rhonda. What a neat thought and privilege that God would entrust us with this!
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