Hard Truths and Miracles

Today. Today has been a day of loss, gain, and miracles. Last night, and at different points throughout the day, Camila would occasionally, but not often, begin to frown up, and become scared.
And why wouldn't she? Everything she has ever known has been flipped upside down, literally over night. It really doesn't matter how an orphanage might be to live in...it's all she has ever known, and now things are very, very different.
This child who supposedly had balance and clumsiness issues, runs everywhere, stacks blocks, lines up toys, dances, and throws and catches balls. Well. This child who did not speak much at all already has repeated some English words...light, seven, daddy, and while playing with her toy phone said, "Hola!" (It's a toy that speaks some Spanish words, including 'Hola'.
This child who would not pay attention to orders, is my daughter who will turn around when I call her name, come and sit in my lap when I say, "Uppa!" ("Come" while tapping lap), and will run up to give me a kiss when I say, "Dame un besito!" (give me a little kiss)
The Spirit of the living God is powerful and active, directing the lives of His children. We have fought a battle of fear and faith over the last eight months, as we received many reports about our little girl's behavior and development. My flesh said, "But what if you can't handle this?! What if you arrive and it's as bad, or worse than they say? What if your life is never the same?!" Faith rises up as the Spirit of God reminded me of His promises, and every miraculous confirmation that we were walking straight in His plan. The Lord comforted us with the knowledge that we wouldn't ever be the same! No! We would know greater victory! We knew the Lord led us to this little girl...and no matter the circumstance when we arrived, we knew He also would hold us up in that plan.
We are only beginning here. The real faith walk is ahead of us. There are obvious delays, that could be from various issues. Our daughter's speech is probably anout like an 18 month olds. She is bigger than we were told- fitting into some 2T's, but mainly 3T's...so glad I brought those!
She has learned to comfort herself to sleep by rubbing her own tummy and sucking two of her fingers. Now we rub her tummy for her and lay beside her.
Last night there were tears as she lay beside me in bed. She was afraid. She kept sitting up and looking around, so confused as to what was really going on. All I could do was hold her tight and sing praise songs over her as she finally began to calm down. She lay beside me, sucking those two sweet little fingers with crocodile tears flowing down her cheeks. This is loss. Everything she knows, and has had to depend upon is dying now. Now she has to learn to trust us. We, who do not speak the words she is familiar with or have faces she is familiar with. Learning that trust can be a long process...but we know there is grace for every step.
In the middle of seeing pieces of this loss show, we are already seeing much, much greater gains. Yesterday, for the very first time in Camila's life, she was able to splash in a swimming pool. She has never even had a bath in a bath tub. I've never seen a child so thrilled to be in a pool! Laughter was abundant.
She wakes up smiling from naps and takes off throwing and catching balloons, and she smiles and dances everywhere!! Tonight, when one of the boys hollered, "Daddyyyy!" She hollered, "Daddyyyyy!"




We have turned on music and she grins ear to ear, and begins stepping and stepping everywhere. She loves this set of stackable cups I brought with me. She stacks a tall tower, then raises her hands in the air and cheers!
We are noticing that when she sees that everyone is watching her, she throws her arm over her eyes and hides. She is scared of many noises, and will quickly cover her ears, or try to hide. In busy places she stays introverted and curls up on me or Danny...this is a good sign.




Today a psychologist had to come and check on her at our apartment. Camila was laughing and playing on the floor with Danny stacking the cups. Well, when I went to sit down to stack the cups, she became upset, and did not want me to touch them at all. I tried several things, but then followed her lead and stepped back. If anyone came close to her and Danny stacking those cups, she would begin to cry and holler. Five minutes later, she was running around playing again, and came up to hug me. Now, looking back, I can see where she felt like a spectacle with so many people looking right at her and obviously talking about her. She didn't want anyone intruding on her moment with her Daddy. Not even mama.
This afternoon we went to the town square and had some helados (ice cream), and bought a few things from some tribal people on the street. The women do amazing hand embroidery on large pieces of cloth. It's beautiful!
We came back, and Camila had a nap. The boys and I went down to the pool and swam while a big Amazon rain our came down. That was fun! We have spent the remainder of the evening chilling out and visiting. Our in country rep, Marisa joined us for a good visit for a long time. She is amazing. Today she had to stand in line on her feet for three hours to et the original copy of Camila's birth certificate. There were 200 people in line with only two workers taking care of it. Wow.
Tomorrow will be the going away party at the orphanage. Today we ordered a large cake, and went and bought drinks, cookies, and chips for the party. In the morning we will put together goody bags for the kids who will attend. I should have a lot of good photos, I hope! Today, not so much.
Please pray for Camila as we return to the orphanage tomorrow. This could be a strange and confusing feeling for her, and I am praying for great peace for her.
For all of those who have commented and message and shared so many sweet words with us- thank you so much. You don't know what an encouragement you have been. Thank you...we love and miss you.