The Burrito Life

When Danny and I were courting, he came to hang out with my family a good bit. It's always amazing how when a child's significant other drops by, that's when the parents break out the most humiliating stories of their child's growing up years. You know...
"And look! Here's the picture of the time Calley decided to eat dog food!!"
So anyway, sure enough, my dad began to brief Danny on some of my strange eating habits. He told Danny all about how every time we had burritos for supper, I always put so much in my burrito that it wouldn't shut. And then, how I ALWAYS got to the end of the "burrito assembly line" and exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! My burrito won't even close!"
My dad found this rather hilarious, because I never changed the way I stuffed my burrito yet still was just as shocked when it wouldn't close.
What he didn't realize, was I really was that shocked! I really believed I could make it all fit! But alas, it never would close. *sigh
Years later, as I was pining over how I was going to be able to accomplish the million obligations and responsibilities on my to-do list, Danny had a profound thought, and he shared it with me in laughter.
"You pack your life just like you pack your burrito, Calley! You smash it full of so much stuff, and you can't even get it closed!"
It was true. Way truer than I wanted to admit. And just like my dad, Danny didn't realize that I still actually believed I could make it all work, miraculously. I was just as shocked, at the end of a day where I had agreed to complete way more than was humanly possibly, that it didn't all pan out. I'd crumble in astonishment and confusion at how I couldn't seem to make it all fit. Because, I really believed it WAS possible. I really believed my burrito would close.
See, I have a sort of unwavering naive optimism, if you want to know the truth. It's a blessing and a curse all at once. I enter every giveaway and I really believe I'm going to win. No matter that 70,000 other people entered this week's Kelly Moore Bag giveaway...this week, it's going to be me! I've never won anything. Well, except a forest green box fan at a family reunion when I was eleven years old. True story. I saved it until about three years ago, I felt so sentimental about it.
But in this naive optimism, I come up with some grand ideas and I really believe I can make them happen.
"I've got it Danny. We can take off to Peru for a week or so, next month! We'll sell a few things, and I'll sew 200 items to sell. We'll be on our way in no less than a month!"
Danny brings me back to earth. "Yes, we will go back to Peru. But it probably can't be next month. Remember the last time you tried to sew 24 hours a day, Calley. It just didn't come out well...for any of us."
However, my naive optimism also affords great rewards at other times. I really have seen God do some incredible things that were humanly impossible, simply because I refused to stop believing God could do them. For that reason, I can't shuck this trait.
But when it comes to the way I plan out my days and life, about a year ago I became aware that God wanted me to make some changes. It was as if I knew it was time to stop saying yes to everything, cut the excess junk, and make my time really count.
God's Word says it like this in Hebrews 12:1:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. (NLT)
Obviously, cutting the sin out of our lives and surrendering it to Jesus gives Him a huge area in our lives to work with. We can pack our lives full of junk and there's not any room for God to grow us, use us, or bless us, and we wonder why we are so miserable and discontent. But just by getting rid of the sin, we really do open up such an opportunity for God to use us immensely.
There are some things that may not necessarily be sin, though. They're just weights that are slowing us down, ultimately, in how the Lord would like to use us. We might be able to accomplish a little with these weights, but we won't be nearly as efficient, and we won't move nearly as fast. We might be able to impact a few people with God's love while carrying these unnecessary weights, but Jesus alone knows the multitudes that can be impacted for His kingdom when we're willing to throw down these hindering relationships and unfruitful time-eaters. If we're only willing to lay down these hindrances to God's purpose for us, then we can really run with endurance. We can really make our lives count.
As God has dealt with me on how I pack my burrito life, I've realized that there are certain things that I know I should be pouring my life out for, and other burdens and weights that I have placed on myself in an attempt to achieve something in my own side agenda. Those things had to go. Those things were not helping me be fruitful and run with endurance. There are a line of priorities in my life. Things that I know for certain God has called me to and our family to. Those things take precedence. The rest of the things are laid aside. Sometimes there is time for those extra things, sometimes there isn't. But I find that doesn't matter to me much anymore when I look back over a day, in the light of knowing I'm doing what Jesus has expected of me.
That's where we can truly abide in complete peace.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT)
I love these scriptures! Jesus says to come to Him if we're carrying heavy burdens. He says to let Him teach us, and we will find REST for our souls. Jesus wants us to walk in His rest. But we have to let Him teach us.
Jesus says His yoke is easy and His burden is light. So that means, when I'm stressed and overwhelmed, I should really assess whose burden I'm carrying. It may just be that I've stacked a pile of burdens on my back that Jesus never called me to spend my life on. Or, it could also be that I'm attempting life in my own strength.
Bit by bit, day by day, Jesus is showing me how to "pack my burrito," or plan my day, where it gets spent in the most fruitful way. I'm still learning. I'm so grateful I have the King of Kings as my teacher. His desire is for me to walk in His rest, and I'm learning that will never be found as long as I'm toting a million self-given weights and attempting to run at the same time. Running with endurance means cutting the junk. And I must say, when the weights are gone, it is amazing what peace and endurance abound!
So may THIS burrito life be filled to the brim with God's purposes, so that He gets the glory, I'm walking in His rest, and at the end of the day, it all fits exactly the way He intended.