Clarification

We found out yesterday that our papers were not, in fact, being reviewed quite yet. They had only been received for review.The review should begin any time now, but according to our agency- we should not expect to hear anything back for 2-3 weeks. We were told by our agency that they were still *hopeful, we would be able to travel in March. Obviously, my first response was absolute sadness and disappointment. I never could have imagined how long and hard this wait would be. Your mind and body, even long for resolve so deeply. It seems like it will be such a freeing feeling to not be living under some government's microscope or someone else's approval any longer. I know post adoption has its own faith walk as well. But I'm ready for my faith walk to include holding my little girl. I was thinking about it yesterday. Last June or July, that's when I first saw our girl's name on the list. I inquired about her. But knowing that she was older than our Peruvian approval, we didn't think we could request her. Our agency was also not sure how Peru would respond to us requesting a child outside of our age approval. So we didn't move forward with asking to see her file. But then July came, and we finally got some gumption and thought, "Wait! What do we have to lose?" we requested her file...we prayed...we fell in love. A few long weeks later we received 2 photos of her. It was a Wednesday night before church. Danny had already taken the boys on so I could have a few minutes to review my lesson. I decided to check my email one last time to see if I might have received her photos. There was the email from the agency sitting in my inbox. I'll never forget what it was like to open that email, and see our little girl- laughing and clapping her hands. I literally began crying uncontrollably, thanking God, jumping up and down...what a moment. I called Danny and told him to open my email. He did- his response was the same. I remember us praying fervently, night and day. Then we sent in the letter of request in August. Peru asked for a letter from a psychologist showing we could take care of our youngest son, and another child his age. We got that, and quickly. But not quickly enough to make the August consejo. Next, the September consejo was completely cancelled. What disappointment. Then, that long month of October, when we weren't sure if there would be a matching meeting or not. There wasn't one announced. We didn't expect one. But on that very last day of October- we received an email saying we had been matched. Our hearts rejoiced. We wept. We were sure we'd travel to Peru for Christmas, or right after. It's February now. The only pictures we have of our girl are at least 6-7 months old. I wonder what she looks like now. I know, at this point, she doesn't even know she has a family waiting to come to her. Once we have a preliminary approval from CIS, they will begin to show her pictures of us and prepare her for our coming. Yesterday morning I was reading in Exodus, when God really spoke to my heart. In Exodus, chapter 14, the Israelites had finally left Egypt and were between the wilderness and the Red Sea. Then, God hardens Pharoah's heart and causes him to pursue the Israelites. Now, my first response is, "Why, God? They could have left Egypt, and never had to deal with the Egyptians, ever, ever again!" But verse 4 tells us that God did it, to show the Egyptians one more time His glory. To show them what Jehovah God could do! We also know that the Israelites were instructed by God to tell their children for generations of the miracle He performed in parting the Red Sea and delivering them from their enemies. I had to pause while reading this, and cry my eyes out a bit. I feel like we are pinned between the wilderness and the Red Sea. My heart cries out, "Why, Lord? Wouldn't our daughter be better off here, with us? Wouldn't this be better if it was finally all settled and we were home?" I knew the Lord was speaking to me in this passage. He wants to show even the unbeliever His glory through this beautiful story He is writing in bringing our precious daughter home. This was His thing from the beginning. His idea. His miracle. There is no questioning who has orchestrated, performed, starred, and directed this adoption process. We have merely walked- and watched God perform. Not that I have not, many times, tried to help God out, only to find that I was just being a glory robber. I have figured out farely quickly each time, that I wasn't helping anything by my stressing, complaining, and whining. Then, the scripture that rumbled like a lightening rod through my spirit: Exodus 14:13 And Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. STAND STILL, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see no more again forever." (I felt like shouting here. I know my Deliverer is moving- fighting on our behalf. He is bringing about an impossible deliverance...parting a Red Sea, making a way through an impossible situation. He alone can do that. I love the second part of that scripture too. In our personal trial, I don't want to see or deal with the "Egyptians" anymore!!! For crying out loud- GET OUT OF THE WAY AND GIVE ME MY LITTLE GIRL!!) Then, the scripture I have had on the wall since the very beginning of our adoption process. I had actually forgotten it was here, in this story. It was a treasure. A beautiful reminder waiting for me... Verse 14: "The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." Amen. I know trusting God also means trusting His timing. I do not believe, when a person is fully surrendered to God's will for their lives, that any circumstance, influence, sickness, trial, giant, army, or ANYTHING can block God's plan from unfolding. (The big words here are "surrendered to God's plan.IE: desiring His will for my life above my own personal plans and selfish ambitions. Living for His plan!) That means that, when God's people face opposition and trial, we can fully trust God is still working out His plan, for His glory and our good. We can fully trust that whatever happens, God allowed for His perfect reasons. Even through trial, we can know what God is bringing forth will be absolutaly wonderfully, beautiful. It rarely looks the way we expected it to, either. It's way beyond our simple human reasoning. I think, by far, one of the main things that have kept me going, is the army of prayer warriors I hear chanting behind me. It's a rumbling noise of a mighty group who are fighting with us in the spiritual realm. When we see this victory- it is truly an entire army's victory. When we rejoice, this army rejoices with us. When we have wept- they have given us nourishment for the battle...told us how to push on. My friend sent me some scriptures last night, knowing my heart was heavy... Isaiah 55:8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. For those of you fighting with us, thank you. Thank you a million times over. God is bringing the victory...we know rejoicing is on the way.