To Belong

It is truly amazing to see what is going on in our Camila. She already is not the same little girl that we met a few weeks ago. When she ran out to meet us her eyes were glazed over and unfocused, are now she is much more focused and attentive. The mind that paid no attention to directions, or hardly words at all for that matter, is now eager to listen and will repeat words.



Camila is beginning to belong. She obviously is learning what it means to belong to a mom and dad.

It might come as a surprise to some, but the process of feeling that Camila belonged to me, was not instantaneous. Sure, when we met I fell in love with this precious little girl. My heart was full of thanksgiving and joy to finally hold the blessing we had waited for for so long. But the feeling of connecting- the feeling that this little girl was now actually mine...those feelings have grown a bit more day by day.

Without those feelings, choosing love in the middle of bad behavior and being rejected is just that...solely a choice based on a calling. We are called to love without any feelings of desire to do so- but as we walk by faith and trust God's leading- those feelings do come. It is easier to choose love when we feel the emotions to back it- but I'm thankful for my Lord who gives us the desires of our hearts when we are obedient to follow Him.



Camila belongs to me, and I to her. No doubt, Jesus clearly placed this little darling into our family. He directed us straight to her by His divine hand and it is a great honor to be a part of seeing His miraculous work unfold more each day.

Camila has such a spunky little personality and is nearly constantly dancing and singing. If I begin singing "La-la-la's" she can match me pitch for pitch! It is pretty impressive! Each day she trusts a little more and with each bit of trust, the veil is raised a little more to show a deeper view of her joy, her gifts, her pain, and her loss.

Most of the time, Camila seems to be full of joy and adores to be played with and shown affection. Every now and then I see some out of nowhere behavior that I really can't explain. Every now and then Camila suddenly becomes angry or sad for no apparent reason... Perhaps it's a memory or some other trigger I've yet to identify.

When we visited Union Church last Sunday, I experienced something like this. There was a random lady Camila had never seen and she ran over and hugged her. Okay, that's cool. But then she constantly wanted to run to her and would hold her arms up and cry and whine for her to hold her over and over again. This lady kept looking at me like, "what's up with your kid?!" And I was constantly taking Camila by the hand and leading her elsewhere to play. This was making Camila angry because for some reason, she wanted this stranger to hold her- and this stranger didn't want to hold her. (And Camila did not want me to hold her either!)

Or possibly at a meal, Camila will suddenly become angry if she is helped. It makes me wonder what she is thinking in those moments.

Moments like those are becoming more and more scarce, though. When Camila was placed in our care in Iquitos, she nearly constantly kept her face covered with one arm. She covered her face while playing, eating and sleeping. First it reduced to just when she was eating. And now she only covers her face when she decides to disobey. (Like if I tell her to come and she would rather not, she just covers her face. Lol)

Things are going very well. I adore my precious, Peruvian daughter. <3 I cannot wait for her to see her home, her room, her yard, and her family. There are so many discoveries ahead for her! :)

This afternoon Camila is going to have an early nap and then we are heading to the Indian Market with Anita! Yay!

Today Trent is working on our birth certificate stuff in Iquitos! He's been to the appropriate office already once, with no success. He's going back again. Please pray for favor with these people. We are praying for it to be issued today!!



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