Bailout or Believe?

Don't you just love those wonderful "God" moments, when suddenly everything that has been baffling, confusing, and burdening you becomes perfectly clear? Oh, man. I do. It's as if lightening flashes, the lightbulb goes off, and the Lord allows me to see the real issue. The one that's been hiding behind excuses and stress. The one that's been shrouded by growing frustration and impatience. The blame game stops in those telling moments and I suddenly realize what was the problem all along. My heart...my faith...my hope, it's nobody else, and it has nothing to do with the brew of circumstances all threatening my preferably stormless abode. I've once again allowed my faith to be masked by growing turmoil and trial rather than my turmoil and trials being impacted by my faith and my hope.
Then it's, "Lord, forgive me," all over again, moving forward in swells of brokenness and peace. The relief moves in as rain on dry, cracked earth. And I know Jesus wonders what I've been waiting on. He had the answers all along. He knew the situation all along; and He knew it was my heart that needed changing more than my situation.

Sometimes trusting Jesus through difficult times seems more simple than others. I'm not sure why. When life throws me a curve ball, at times, I have myself a good cry, but then pick my snotty self back up and recognize the truth. I decide in those particular moments that I can either mope, cry and whine until the situation (possibly) changes, or I can go ahead and stand and believe and learn whatever Jesus is trying to teach me, rather than taking another lap around Mt. Sinai for an extra "souvenir." Other times, it's almost as if I don't even notice that I'm not fully trusting. I just wake up one day and feel completely overwhelmed and in over my head. I work myself into a frenzy, and then crumble in the same puddle of tears that I could have easily found relief in, long before the stress and unbelief ever crept in. There I finally repent. I finally "get-it" again.

I'm still learning. I'm a daughter of the Most High God, and with each trial, God has it designed that my faith is growing stronger. (The trying of your faith works patience. James 1:3) God is showing me where I'm weak, and where it's time to pack up the diapers and not be so easily swayed by circumstance. When I was a new believer, I was swaddled and hushed back to sleep with every bumped toe and nail I broke, by the comforting hands of my Abba Daddy. But I've been walking with Jesus for a while now, and He's proven to me (so graciously) time and time again that He will deliver, answer, provide, heal, protect, and surround me when I call out to Him.

It. Has. Never. Failed. I'm a big girl now. It's time to stop waiting on an emotional comfort in these more difficult storms, and grow up and believe God whether it looks or feels good or not. I would be very naive to believe that the storms get easier, smaller, and eventually completely stop, the longer I walk with the Lord. Why wouldn't God expect me to trust Him more, the longer I've tasted of His goodness and witnessed Him work the impossible? Why wouldn't He want to show the world greater deliverance through his children, who through the fire, have learned to trust Him in it all?

Sometimes, the old "when it rains, it pours," saying is more than true. We have had a conglomerate of situations and needs arise all at once. Needs and trials we had not prepared for.

But regardless, in every thing we face on this earth, in every single trial and tribulation, great and small, we have the choice to walk by faith and believe God, or to do the opposite. When we choose to stand in faith and wait on the Lord's deliverance we can usually expect the heat to crank it up a notch. It always does. This isn't a coincidence. As we stand in faith on the promises of God, satan will always present the opportunity for us to give up and "bailout."

"You mind as well give up waiting on Mr. Right to come along. He doesn't exist. You've been waiting ten years, and you've never met a man with the standard of faith you'd hoped you would. Your standards are too high. Bailout."

"There's no reason to keep praying for healing. You're too far gone. Just give up. Bailout."

"Your spouse isn't ever going to change. This isn't worth your time anymore. Bailout."

"I know God said that He'd provide ALL that you need. I know that He said that, but you have a need in two weeks, three thousand things to pay for, and no finances to cover these things. Be ahead of the game. Go ahead and charge what you need. Bailout."

It's amazing how many bailouts we can take when God has promised what He will do for any man or woman, boy or girl, who simply believe Him to. It really is the realm where miracles are so evident. When we decide to trust and wait on our strong Deliverer, His leading, and His plan, instead of settling and fretting- we see supernatural things. We see needs miraculously taken care of. We see deliverances take place that were all-out impossible only 24 hours previous. After all, God can work a miracle any ol' way He desires to do it. All throughout His Word, He's defeated armies and enemies and met needs through confusion, noise, trumpets, prostitutes, ravens, little boys, food from the sky, sling-shots, spit and mud, words, thieves and fishermen, and a CROSS and an EMPTY GRAVE. We will NEVER be able to guess His method in our current storm, but the deliverance is SURE to come, nonetheless.

As I was on my morning walk earlier this week, God reminded me that I had allowed myself to begin to fret and worry, and even "bailout" instead of just believing Him to do what He's already promised He would. The sunshine hit my face, and I raised my arms in praise and relief to recognize what I have so many other times. The circumstances are not hard for God. He can move them with one swipe of His all-powerful hand. My heart, my trust, and my unwavering devotion are what He wants from me, and any bailouts I'm willing to take for temporary relief are just a slap in the face of the Creator who has proven His unfailing love for me time and time again.




Forgive me, my Jesus. May this big girl learn to believe you with an unwavering faith, despite broken nails, fizzled plans, and even huge mountains. You are still Lord-You are my Hope! I believe.