On the way home from our trip, in the wee hours of the morning, I listened to an experienced mother speak on the radio about her life raising a large family. She talked of neat family traditions and things she learned through her day in day out trials. She was christian lady- and I was totally eating up everything she was saying. I love the scripture in Titus that talks about older women teaching younger women. It is encouraging to talk with women who have successfully raised up Godly children and listen to how they managed daily life.
The radio show was in a question/answer type format, and one young mom asked, "How did you manage time playing with your children, with your husband, and keeping the house livable at the same time?" I sat on the edge of my van seat waiting to hear her wise response to this question that seems a daily brain boggler for me.
She said, "I just advise mom's to let themselves off the hook on this one. When you look at a pendulum swinging on a clock- it is rarely hanging right in the center. It is usually going all the way one direction, or all the way another. That is how I find it is with life. Sometimes, I have been really on top of keeping my house in order, but during those times really feel deep inside that I should be playing more, and reading more to my children. On the other hand, many times I have spent the entire week playing with my kids, and wonder how I could possibly let our house get so out of hand. Sometimes, I focus my energy on being rested up and available to listen and spend time with my husband in the evenings when he gets home from work. Other times, I have spent all day playing and cleaning and felt I could not keep my eyes open to hear a word my dear hubby had to say in the evening. Don't guilt yourself about it. I think this is just life."
I have thought a lot about that statement. As I was making my rounds through the house this morning, picking up toys and making beds. I thought, "If I would've woken up at 5:00am like I had set my alarm for, I would already have been two steps ahead. I would have had some time to let the Lord feel me up for the day with his new mercies. I would have had time to run a couple of miles on the treadmill, already have the bed's made, a shower, and be making breakfast right now. Ugh. THEN, I would finally be able to spend an afternoon sewing or playing my guitar while the boys took a short nap, BEFORE we go for an afternoon swim. JUST to make it home in time to cook some supper and have some family time.But now- I am 5 steps behind. "
This is something that is always hanging over my head. How do I possibly fit all of the things into a day that seem required of me-(some I require of myself)- enjoy it- and go to bed with an organized house, tidy kids, and be ready early in the morning to start it all over again.
I don't think I can. A human is a human. Therefore, I am letting myself off the hook. In the middle of all of these expectations I put upon myself- this hunger to accomplish the impossible just may be how God made mankind. When I really examine my goals and dreams, I realize that somewhere in all of this striving and reaching, I find some sort of contentment and peace. Somewhere in the ocean of all of my wantings to accomplish, and my desire to learn- I do grab some substance that brings this soul satisfaction. Who cares if I am only grabbing pieces! I am grabbing something! Hopefully what I find myself grasping when all of my little life is spent will be the things that mattered most.
Reaching out to mankind in love and being the hands and feet of Jesus. Planting seeds into my children little by little, bit by bit; Watching them grow into mighty men of God with purpose and passion for their Creator. Being a listening ear, instead of a nagging mouth. Letting some things go that are fickle and temporary. Clinging to what moth and rust cannot destroy-embracing what is eternal.
In this short span that I remain here to tread on this earth- I may feel scarcely balanced and no matter how incredibly hard I reach, I will never be perfect. But as I aim for more, God sustains me with His victorious right hand. He shows me the way to victory- and he stops to comfort me, and remind me that His load is easy and His burden is light. He carries my load with me. He leads me. He shows me what to keep, and what to let fall. Help me Lord to let myself off the hook, and let you lead.
4 comments:
I think this fits into that scripture in Ecclesiastes that talks about a time for this and a time for that. Now is the time to spend more with your babies. One day when they are all grown (far too soon)you will have more time to spend on your house. Good decision!
Believe it or not, I USED to keep my house really clean (once upon a previous marriage). I worked full-time and had 4 kids. I didn't have much time for my babies--- but they, and my house, were always clean. Then I got divorced, remarried and moved into a single-wide mobile home with 5 kids. I no longer had to work outside the home, but with no room to breathe, the clutter and the constant messes were overwhelming. I barely kept my head above water. Three years, and one more baby, I had a chronically ill child that spent two years in and out of the hospital. I had to make a choice, to spend my time focused on the house or her. I chose her. Cristi's right--- the house can wait. Babies grow up and leave home quicker than you could ever imagine. (The days are long, but the years are short.) I spent so much more one on one with Shelbi than the first two kids. God took her illness and used it to change my priorities. I no longer took healthy kids, or my time with them, for granted. I think Shelbi is going to remember me reading, playing, and watching Barney with her more than whether my house was clean or not. Mallory and Sarah probably remember their mom being "too busy for them." =( (NOT saying that YOU do that!!! Strictly talking about myself!)
It's good to let yourself "off the hook." Nobody is perfect!
God has been dealing with me a lot lately on the topic of being a help meet in particular, but also in my role as a mom. It's amazing the things He'll teach you about these roles if we'd just take the time to seek Him out on it.
Good stuff...great thoughts!
Post a Comment