Adoption

We are adopting. We have completed our first of many applications and sent it to our agency. We are excited to fulfill God's plan for us. The last few months have been amazing. It has been truly miraculous to see God's hand leading us in this direction. We cannot deny it, or dodge it, and we don't want to!
 I recently heard a very uplifting sermon. In the sermon the preacher talked about Psalm 139, and how "All of the days ordained for me were written in His book, before one of them came to be." We know God has a plan for us, but because of sin and because of us making choices on our own behalf, we often times don't fulfill what He has for us. The sermon was simply about how God never writes ordinary stories. There is not a story in His Word that is ordinary. Every person that decides to submit their life, their plans, and their future into God's hands, is never dissappointed. He desires to use us mere humans to fulfill His work, and it is nothing short of awesome. I refuse to live my life and look back wondering what I should have done, but didn't do because I was too afraid, comfortable, or short-sighted to totally pour myself into the plans that He set in motion for me. It scares me to think my life is ticking by each day. I only list those fears, and comforts...because those are the flotation devices I usually find myself clinging to. It feels like this life is a raging storm, and when I look at my tiredness, time, money (lack of-actually-lol), dreams, etc... I often feel I will surely drown if I completely let go of it all and dump everything in me upside down.  I cannot let my life be spent hanging on to these things I call security (even if my securites are merely excuses), when the only real security is Christ the Solid Rock!

About a year ago, I had a dream. It was one of those "God" dreams, where I knew there was something I was supposed to absorb from it. In my dream, I knew I was in South America. (I have since had two more dreams of being in South America) I have never been to South America, and don't even know how I knew I was there in my dream. I just knew. I was in a canoe in a muddy river that was moving very rapidly. It was like a jungle river. Thick vegetation lined the river. In the river were tons of people, all gasping for breath, struggling to stay afloat. I was sitting up in my canoe. There were snakes in the river, slithering between people. The people were hollering and screaming. They were reaching up to my boat and yelling, "HELP! HEELP ME!!"

I was terrified. I knew I could only fit one or maybe, two people in my canoe. I also had this overwhelming fear that if I let someone into my canoe, they would throw me out into the river. I remember rationalizing my choice in my mind. "Someone will surely throw me into the river. I have to get out of here!"

I paddled away as fast as I could, and pretty soon I could no longer see anyone, and I couldn't hear the gut wrenching cries for help anymore. The water became more calm, and I eased up to a bank where there was a huge mall, of all things. I immedietly went inside and began shopping the sales, not giving another thought to the people and their need for someone to rescue them.

I knew that the dream had a very obvious meaning. If I would be willing to surrender myself, my fears, my expectations, my everything to the Lord, then He could use us as family to rescue people in ways that didn't even seem possible. I knew the mall had to be my comfort, and the little part of myself that I have reserved for me. What I feel capable of. ..What I want out of life. Honestly, I can convince myself I am content at having three sons right now. I could push the urge to rescue to the back of my heart and let it grow stale there. When I look at my hands, and when the rest of the world looks at my hands, they seem full. I love them being full, mind you, but they feel and appear full to me, nonetheless. If God says they're not full though, He knows better than I! I can see that probably means there is still more of me that needs dumping out- to make a little more room for the things that are more important. LOL (My future dump pile might have to include blogs, and spending 2 hours making a ghetto-fab I-phone cover like I did this morning...lol)

I have thought about the dream many times. I only recently began to pray for God to show me what it is in me that I am not letting go of... what it is in me that could keep me from rescuing someone. God immedietly began to show me that He wants to paint out a picture of our future, that might not look anything like I previously had expected. But His masterpieces are so much more grand than my measley attempts at beauty and happiness.  Why do I forever settle, when He wants to do something new and extrordinary, if we would only BELIEVE Him to?!

When Isaac was about a year old, Danny and I pursued adoption. We really wanted to adopt, but we hit wall after wall. We did not qualify for any program we tried. We then thought about fostering children who were more likely to end up being free for adoption, but the classes never worked out and nothing happened. The thought of adoption has come to mind several times, but Danny and I have never really discussed it or pursued it again, until recently.

One Monday morning, I was hit with the strong burden to search once again. I spent that day and the next, off and on, (as much as is possible with three boys) seeking direction. I emailed ministries and people who had adopted. A couple of days later, Danny and I were bringing a cow to the sale barn. On the way there, I asked him if he ever thought about adoption anymore. He told me that he had spent the last two days reading up on adoption and the different means to go about it. We had both been hit with the burden, never had discussed it, and had both been seeking how to go about it. I love how the Lord moves!

A few weeks later, I was praying early one morning about how to go about paying for this adoption. While there is a tax reimbursment available through the year 2011 for up to $13,000.00 That still leaves about $11,000.00 to come up with. As I sat that morning in my recliner, I just asked the Lord to please clearly show us how to go about getting the funds. "Are we supposed to take out a loan? Lord, please direct us in how to go about doing this."

I read each day in a devotion book made up of only scriptures called, "Daily Light". There is a scripture title, and scriptures make up the entire devotion. When I said "Amen" to my short prayer for direction, I opened to the morning devotion on June 20th.
The title said,
"Take this child away and nurse him for me, and I will give you your wages."
I was in awe. The rest of the devotion:
Go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you. Whoever gives a cup of cold water to drink in My name, because you belong to Christ, assuredly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward. The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself. God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love...in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister.
Each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.
"Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take you in, or naked and clothe You?" And the King will answer and say to them, "...Inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me." Come you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

I knew God had spoken to me through His Word. I cannot tell you how grateful and happy I was to have an answer and affirmation from Him that we were on the right track.


I found a ministry that works in many countries worldwide, including the country we really believe we are to adopt from- Peru. We have filled out the application with them, and are waiting to hear back. If you read my blog, please pray for us to be led by the Lord in this journey. I know He is guiding us. We want to have eyes to clearly see what direction He is leading us in. After all, we are only pursuing adoption at His Word. So He obviously knows what is to come and a time that this will all come about. We are at peace- and filled with joy to walk it out! Knowing that I have a child waiting for me, or soon to be born, that will call me "Mama" is so exciting and wonderful. May He be glorified through it all.

(Go to newer posts for updates in our adoption process!)