Minutes, Days, Years

If we as humans knew just just how much time we had remaining on this earth, I wonder how our priorities might shift. I wonder what tasks would fall into the "not so important" category, and which ones would take precedence.
So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12
I've always loved this scripture. Evidently a man who can number his days is a wise man.
It's the knowledge that life won't go on forever and making it count is of the utmost importance. It's the knowledge that the special people that the Lord has placed in our path in daily living are there for a reason and the realization that we must make our time count with those people. It's knowing that the impact we make each minute is really important, and those tiny small things we get so hung up on, just aren't.
In recent weeks, I've been made increasingly aware of just how much selfishness I have remaining in my heart. Maybe it's the adjustment of adding another child into our family. Maybe it's the fact that I've been able to see what life is really like in so many other parts of the world where children are left to themselves, mistreated, and abused. Whatever it is, I pray that God will continue to peel back any layers that would keep me from being useful for His kingdom. Just when I get cozy and content as a believer, God sure knows how to open my eyes a little more to see a deeper view of what's really going on.
I have to be honest. Sometimes it's hard to love. Sometimes it isn't easy to give up your comforts and routines. Sometimes swallowing God's best plans are a little harder going down than you thought they would be. You know what? That's okay. It's not any tougher than the Lord knew it would be, and there is grace for each day. In the process of surrender there is also brokenness. The beautiful thing is, when brokenness is involved, we as God's children can be confident that God is making something new that can be used for a greater purpose.
It's good to have to depend on God. In complete dependency, real miracles are manifold. In complete surrender the presence of the Lord is known in a greater magnitude than it's ever experienced when merely cheering from the sidelines. It's always far, far sweeter to pour out a life for the sake of the King, and know Him intimately, than to pour out a life for the sake of self. A life spent on self has little to show when the hour glass is spent and time is up.
As God is opening my eyes to my own selfishness, I'm realizing just how much time can be wasted when I'm caught up in my own concerns and desires. It's amazing how much can be accomplished when the needs of others and God's will are placed at the forefront of daily living.
I love what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:15.
And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.
He obviously was a man who knew where time was best spent...for the sake of others.




After the missionary, Gladys Aylward had spent years in China and was still relatively young, she traveled home to see her parents in Europe. Her parents hardly recognized her. She was mistaken in the train station for her mother's mother. Her years of pouring out her life for the sake of the people and children of China under harsh circumstances took its toll on her appearance. She did not care. She had been fulfilling the plans of the Lord, and with great success. She returned to China, and lived out her life there serving and reaching people for the sake of the Gospel. She died an old woman. Gladys was found dead in her room with a newborn baby in a bassinet beside her bed. The baby had been abandoned and she had been tending to it. She lived and died seeing about the needs of others. What a beautiful life.
So, while it may hurt a little to peel away the layers of selfishness that have unknowingly hidden themselves in corners of my life, I'm joyful that God has allowed us to walk this path. I'm thrilled to see God's plans unfold. I'm filled with awe that our little girl was divinely placed by the Lord into our family, and that He'd even choose to use her rescue to cause a sort of rescue in me. The rescue is for me to be less like me and more like Jesus. He really does work all things out for our good and His glory.
Even when it might hurt, it's my desire to continually pour myself out for the sake of Jesus. I want to make these brief minutes of life count. I want to be an old woman who looks back with the peace that God had His way in me. I desire for my eyes to be open to the needs around me. I've been far too blinded for far too long. I want the thoughts that remind me of what it will cost me to serve others, to diminish to nothing.
Jesus, renew my mind that my one thought will be what Your desire is.
Teach me, Lord.